How to Help Your Toddler With Separation Anxiety (Without Tears)

Now that we are transitioning into back-to-school routines, you may be dealing with some separation anxiety from your toddler. Even if they went to daycare, preschool, or pre-K last year, you may find that their separation anxiety has regressed due to the summer break. Feeling the Mom Guilt every day at drop off, only to go cry in your car before you head out? You’re not alone. Keep reading to learn more about toddler separation anxiety, how to manage it, and tips to help make drop-off less of a daily battle.

Are Drop Offs a Daily Battle?

Drop-offs can be emotional for both children and their parents. Not only are you having emotions about leaving your child in the care of someone else, but they are having emotions about being away from you and being in a new place.

Some days might be better than others. On the first day, they may run right in. On the second, they may have difficulty after realizing how long they are away from you. It could last days or even weeks on their end. No matter how much fun they have once they are through the door, that initial drop-off can be extremely difficult.

Here are some facts from the Cleveland Clinic:

Separation anxiety is when your infant or toddler cries or gets upset when you leave their presence. It’s a normal developmental stage that typically begins at age 6 to 12 months and goes away by around age 3. This is because when babies are little, they don’t get that something can still be there even if they can’t see it. But as your child gets older, they start to understand that the separation is just temporary, and you’ll return.

When you’re trying to pry your toddler from your ankle so you can leave for work, it’s easy to lose patience. But remember this is just a phase. And it’s actually a sign that you’ve formed a close bond. It just takes some time for your child to move past this stage. While these moments can be stressful for both you and your child, establishing quick good-bye rituals and telling your child what to expect (like when you’ll return) can ease the pain of these separations.

How to Manage Separation Anxiety

Desperate to ease your toddler’s anxiety and make drop-off a better experience? There are ways to manage their separation anxiety, such as making goodbyes quick but loving, being consistent with your routine, being specific and keeping your promise, practicing, and trying fidget toys.

Make Goodbyes Quick, But Loving

When your toddler is crying, your instinct is to give them plenty of love, reassure them, and be the one to make them feel “all better”. However, when it comes to drop-offs, it is best to keep things short and sweet. The longer you linger, the more your child’s anxiety will rise.

Give your toddler your full attention when saying goodbye to them, give them a big hug, a few kisses, and send them on their way—even if they are in full meltdown mode. Chances are, once they get through that door and see all their friends, toys, and fun things to do, the tears will quickly subside.

Be Consistent With Your Routine

How you say goodbye to your toddler matters. Be consistent with your goodbye routine so that they begin to realize a pattern. If this changes at all, your toddler will feel like they have been thrown a curveball. As you already know, toddlers love routines, and they do not love it when those routines are disrupted.

Be Specific and Keep Your Promise

Get to know your child’s daily schedule at daycare, school, or Grandma’s house, and give them a specific promise to work off of. This will also help them build trust, help them understand when they will see you again, and make their day more enjoyable.

For example, tell your child during their goodbye, “I can’t wait to pick you up after lunchtime and clean up!” or “I will be back home to pick you up from Grandma’s after naptime”.

Practice Makes Perfect

Preparation and practice can help both you and your child. The more you practice, the better you both will be able to handle the drop-off experience. You can also practice being apart in the days leading up to school starting, such as allowing others to take care of your child while you run errands (instead of bringing them with you), having playdates, or even just role-playing the dropoff experience while you are at home.

Try Fidget Toys

Fidget toys have been clinically proven to ease anxiety in both children and adults by providing an outlet to “get out” nervous energy. Giving your child a sensory fidget toy while in the car on the way to drop off, in their backpack for during the day, or as part of a “calm-down bin” at the end of the day, fidget toys can help your child feel better in the moment.

Innobaby has an entire line of silicone sensory fidget toys called Spike that are discreet, quiet, classroom-friendly, and can fit in the palm of your hand.

All of our Spike Sensory Toys are made of 100% silicone, are durable, naturally odor-free, and dishwasher safe. Just toss it in with the day’s load of dishes! 

For more parenting hacks, back-to-school tips, and more helpful family products, visit us at Innobaby.com!